#1: Pikaru Baby Carrier Vest. This is a fleece vest that includes a pouch for your baby in the front. This looks just as amusing as it sounds. I would recommend this product for members of the female gender who want to look like unfortunate kangaroos or the guy from the movie "Total Recall" (see below).
#2: the Rejuvenique RJV10KIT Facial Toning Mask Kit. This mask contains gold "contact points" on the inside. When powered by a battery, those contact points move around, massaging and (supposedly) rejuvenating your skin. What's so bad about this, you wonder? No one will be able to see your freshly rejuvenated skin because they mistook you for a serial killer and ran like hell.
#3: thong jeans. These are jeans with exposed denim thongs pre-attached. I don't think I can sum this up any better than the Huffington Post did: "At $94.29 a pair, these are quite possibly the most expensive route to looking as cheap as possible." I really cannot fathom why any sane human being would possibly purchase these, but American consumerism has always been a bit of a mystery to me...
|your mother must be so proud.|