Sunday, December 19, 2010


The best way to lose all faith in the American educational system and the intelligence of the occupants of this country in general is to check out a Facebook news feed. The following are from, and they provide me with equal amounts amusement and disgusted pity.           

Person A: “Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles. –Charles Chaplin.”

Person B: “Hey… did u ever get that tanning lotion you were talking about?”

“Stephen is single.”

Nylora: “Really? Is this like the 5th time this week? Wassup wit dat?”

Stephen: “Just leave it alone mom, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Caitlynn is now single.”

Mike: “Wooo back on the market. What you doin tonight girl?”

Caitlynn: “Actually, my boyfriend was hit by a car a few months ago. I just got around to changing my status but I’m still not over it. Sorry.”

“Janice is listed as single.”

Jared: “You and dad divorced?”

Janice: “I forgot to mention that to you”

Kathy: “Dear Gregory, my friend Susan just started on the facebook and she helped me set one up too. She’s using it to talk to her son in graduate school and I thought that since you have trouble returning voicemails from your dear old mother I’d give it a try. XOXO, MOM”

Greg: “Hey Kathy I think you’ve got the wrong person. Honest mistake I’m sure.”

Kathy: “Dear Gregory, obviously you’ve inherited your father’s crackpot sense of humor. This is a good way for us to keep in touch, but I can’t seem to see the rest of your page. Is something wrong? Okay, well keep in touch and call soon. MOM”

Greg: “Heyy yeah I dont really know whats going on but you’re not my mom.”

“Michael this is your Mother, unfortunatly you have left your FB open and regrettably there are many things I don’t like about it, for instance the captain morgan bottle your friends are seemingly obsessed with. We will talk about your plans for the next couple of weeks and the new school you will be attending. Sweet dreams.”

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