Sunday, December 19, 2010

"She Just Apologized to the Fire Extinguisher"

The following are from, a site dedicated to exposing the “tendency to press send more easily as night turns to morning.” However, I think it could be more succinctly summarized as an overall look at why drinking is bad.

“And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to family picture day.”

“A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you San Francisco.”

“I found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning. Do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?”

“I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool Osiris shoes are”

“Just saw a women with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.”

“She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.”

“It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.”

“Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.”

“When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.”

“He’s trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a Sharpie. I’m not sure how that’s going to help him on his chem. final, but he keeps shouting ‘This is how the pros do it’”

“No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.”

“Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring ‘ROOM, PLEASE’ as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.”

“I’m handcuffed to the toilet. Don’t ask.”

“If there’s anything I pride myself on, it’s my ability to look homeless.”

No comments:

Post a Comment